just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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