that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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