Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
