you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
