My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize