just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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