margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
