i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
