He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
