why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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