just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
