dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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