I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
