I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
