you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
