the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The power of my boobs compel you
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
