I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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