Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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