I wannas sexs uuuuu
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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