Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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