There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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