But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
