Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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