If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
