I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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