problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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