I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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