I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
