Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
