just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
