scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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