Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
