I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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