And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
