Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
