Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
