When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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