I cannot find my penis.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The police scanner is talking about you again....
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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