We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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