See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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