ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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