She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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