I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
