Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
