i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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