She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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