We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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