so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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