shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
