wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
