her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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