she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We talked him into tasing himself.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
