i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
