just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
