The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
